Radojica the Kid. Radojica is pronounced Rah-doy-ee-tza. In the epic, Radojica is referred to as “little”. It is not quite clear if the definition implies that he was short or young or the junior among other Radojicas. He was a border raider and therefore he may be safely called The Kid, in analogy with other outlaws worldwide. He is the good guy in the epic.

His opponent is Bechir agha.

The Kid plagued Bechir agha for years, until one day Bechir agha apprehended him.

(Note the third person. It is the slave who does all sorts of important jobs but is never even mentioned in the epic.)

The Kid was cast into the dark and dirty dungeon. He devised an ingenious escape plan. He would pretend that he was dead, the agha would have him buried and he would dig out his way from the grave into freedom. That was the Kid’s ingenious plan.

Bechir agha’s wife was evil personified and as cunning as a fox.

“The Kid is not dead. he is only pretending”, said she.

Bechir agha ordered the slave to build a fire on the Kid’s chest. The Kid did not move. Bechir agha, again on this wife’s incentive, ordered a viper to be placed in the Kid’s bosom. The Kid never budged.

Still Bechir agha’s wife did not believe that the Kid was dead. She ordered that twenty splinters be driven under his nails. Never did a sign of life escape from the Kid.

Finally, she ordered the fair Hajkuna (pronounced Haykoona or so), to dance for the supposedly dead Kid.
What a beautiful maid Hajkuna was!

And how well she could dance.

No wonder the Kid peeked with his left eye and a smile came to the right corner of his mouth.

(Note that the slave plays the clarinet.)

Bechir agha’s wife watched like a hawk.

In that dramatic moment, the fair Hajkuna covered the Kid’s face with her veil.

“He must be dead”, concluded the agha’s wife and the Kid was thrown into the deep blue sea.

(Note that the dirty work is done by the slaves.)

Bechir agha whooped it up.

(Note the slave plays another brass instrument.)

The Kid knew well how to swim. He swam ashore and soon recovered. He took full revenge on the agha and agha’s wife. The details will not be told. Suffice it that the Kid wreaked terrible vengeance and took all Bechir agha’s golden ducats for him and the fair Hajkuna to travel away from the border. The Kid married Hajkuna and from then onward she was called Angela.

On their way to a brighter future.

Lead roles:

Lucius Papirius Cursor.

N.B. It is not an invented name (see Livy, History of Rome,Book XXII). This Lucius is the great, great, etc. grandson of the founder of the honorable Cursor family. The pure Roman lineage has been disrupted when Lucius’s father married a princess of the Visigoths or Ostrogoths or some other barbarians with golden locks.

Julia Silvia. Her candidacy to become a Vestal Virgin was pending at the office of the pontifex maximus. The Vestal Virgins had to serve their term in the temple of Vesta for 30 years. No damsel really wanted to become a Vestal Virgin.

Terpsichore, a menad waiting her turn in Greece.

Supporting roles:

Caligula, the deranged emperor of Rome.

Livia, the cunning great grandmother of Caligula. She was very much into sorcery imported from Greece.

The plot:

By the time he became the emperor of Rome, Caligula was completely demented. He made his horse a consul. He walked around believing he was Apollo himself.

As was his wont, Caligula first greeted the ecstatic (read: disgruntled) Roman people gathered in front of Jupiter’s temple, then went to the forum.

An attempt was made on Caligula’s life on the stairs of the forum. The hit man used a dagger. Lucius, who stood nearby, hurried to help his emperor. No serious wound was inflicted.

N.B. At his next convenience, the hit man relied on a sword, not a dagger.

Livia rushed to the scene. She decided that Lucius deserved a reward for saving Caligula’s life and that the reward should be a good marriage. She decided on Julia Silvia.

The wedding was celebrated at the foot of the Colossus of Rhodes in Greece.

In Greece, Lucius met the menads in the garden of the temple of Dionysus.

They knew how to dance. Lucius could not help but forget all about Julia Silvia. He fell madly in love with Terpsichore.

They had a Dionysian wedding. They were both poisoned at the wedding banquet.

Julia Silvia pined away.

Caligula kept saluting the Roman people for another short while.

Only Lucia lived happily ever after. She died at the age of 83 or so, amazing for any Roman in the first century AD, let alone an empress.

Grant Wood painted American Gothic in 1930. If the painting seems different nowadays, that just proves that time has no mercy. Time has changed Grant Wood’s sister, his dentist and even the setting.

What does the future hold for this beauty?

Full name: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Playing for the emperor in Schoenbrun.

Composing Eine kleine Nachtmusik in broad daylight.

Having a good time with Konstanze.

To many he is best known for the delicious Mozartkugeln.

A new man on the town.

Going for a tattoo.

Meeting buddies.

A friend.

Driving without a helmet!? A heated argument ensues.

People stop to watch and listen.

More people gather. Some kind of helmet is found.

The policewoman has left. She left in a state because she recognized the guy in the hoodie.

The arrest. It is a fake arrest. The guy is an undercover cop. The guy is also her long lost sweetheart.

Finally together. But duty calls.

The undercover cop meets some real people and they go to see a movie.

The out-of-control teenager.

The out-of-control teenager’s friend is an outout-of-control wannabe. Soon they get tired of each other.

Wannabe goes one way and

meets an art student.

The out-of-control teenager is all alone in the middle of Easy Street.

N.B. I did not make her outfit. It was bought on Easy Street.

To be continued eventually. There are many more charcters on Easy Street.

The handsome nobleman.

His beautiful bride.

The villain lurking in the background.

The young nobleman was killed.

The bride, the villain, the spirit of the nobleman and the storyteller give different accounts of what happened.

One version:

Blame the cameraman for no snapshots of the other versions.

- Who was the man before he became a skull?

– It is the skull of Yorick, the king’s jester.

- Alas, poor Yorick. Sic transit gloria mundi.

Other matters contemplated by young Hamlet:

1) to wreck vengeance or not to wreck vengeance on the loathsome couple

2) to have a fling with Ophelia or not to have a fling;

and most importantly

3) to be or not to be.

To be continued as soon as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern return from Tom Stoppard’s R&G are skulls.

This is too far into the macabre so here is an appropriate bonus:

The happy young man has just won the 1901 Auto Rally Cup. Anybody who thinks that the rally was in Philadelphia is wrong. The whole story happened somewhere in France.

This is his Papa. Papa is also happy. Understandably so as for Papa the rally was a high risk investment project.

This is definitely not Philadelphia.

The fiancee. She is very pretty and modest. Comes from a provincial family of good standing. Her people became rich&famous for their brand of champagne.

The happy couple.

The picnic by the Seine. The three of them celebrated the victory drinking champagne.

This is definitely not Philadelphia. Paris more likely. Mr Hausman, the architect, has almost finished hausmanizing the whole city of Paris. There is just a small tract of nonhausmanized land by the Seine, just enough for the Impressionists to paint in plein air.

The belle epoque does not know of any young man who has not got a secret. The young man about to be married also had his secret.

The Hussy. She is trouble.

“Papa, could you … would you… ” pleaded the young man.

The hussy is sent off.

Papa returns to his office.

The next bonus picture has almost nothing to do with the story. The question is if Millet was a plein-air painter. Take his Gatherers:

Napoleon was instrumental to Jacques-Louis David. David was instrumental to Napoleon. Napoleon went about making history so David would have what to paint. If it was not for David, maybe Napoleon would not be in our art history books.

This is what their sessions looked like.

One version of the famous painting Napoleon Crossing the Alps.

Intense socializing.

Napoleon and Josephine went to an art galery.

Napoleon was most interested in a naval battle scene on a painting. It all ended with Trafalgar.

Napoleon after the battle of Trafalgar.

The exit.

Bonus picture: Countess Marie Walewska

The two of them stated it at an early age.

“Heathcliff!”

“Catherine!”

“Heathcliff!”

“Catherine!”

Years went by.

“Heathcliff!”

“Catherine!”

“Heathcliff!”

“Catherine!”

Finally they meet in Emily Bronte’s novel.

“Heathcliff!”

“Catherine!”

The end is near.

And now for something completely different: Heathcliff on his way to pick up young Linton from the pub.